Another important element for youngsters is trust. Children want their parents to believe in them, that they are capable of making their own judgments (age appropriate, of course), and that their parents do not always know everything. They also need protection from punishment for mistakes they might make.
Children need freedom to make their own choices and be responsible for the consequences. This does not mean that children should be allowed to do whatever they want all the time -- there are times when you must set limits on their behavior. But it does mean that they should be given opportunities to make decisions about their lives.
Kids also want guidance from their parents. They want to know what behaviors are acceptable and what ones aren't, who to trust and who not to, and more. Kids need our help with things such as finding jobs, making friends, dealing with problems at school, and anything else they might face as they grow up.
Finally, children want to be loved by their parents. They want to know they are cared for--physically and emotionally. Youngsters also want their parents to know they are not alone, that someone is there to support them through good times and bad.
Parents can give their children these things by being active participants in their lives, by listening to them when they have something to say, and by demonstrating that they love them every day.
1. To be secure and safe Children must believe that they are living and learning in a safe environment, and that the people in their life are doing all possible to keep them safe from physical and mental damage. They rely on their parents to safeguard their feelings and not place them in circumstances where they will fail. Parents need to be aware of how their actions may be affecting their children and take action if they find that they are not being met.
2. To have love and respect Children need to know that they are valued and loved, and that they are important to someone. They need to feel special and unique, and that they can trust those around them. Young children especially need to feel cherished and protected by their parents. The needs of older children may include having freedom and responsibility within limits, knowing that they are able to cope with problems without assistance, and having fun!
3. To be accepted and belong Children need to know that they can trust others to accept them for who they are, and that these others will not try to change them. They need to feel comfortable in their own skin and not see themselves as victims of bullying. Young children especially need to feel confident in themselves and their abilities, while older children may want to be trusted not to cause trouble again.
On a daily basis, though, children must make a variety of judgments. These decisions include things like how to act, who to spend time with, and what clothing to wear. It may be rather daunting if youngsters are not equipped with the necessary tools to make sound decisions.
The most important tool for making decisions is knowledge. Children should learn about decision-making by discussing their concerns with adults they trust. They should also read stories about people in difficult situations and learn from their mistakes. Finally, children should practice making decisions themselves. As they gain experience, they will become better able to judge what information is relevant and use it to form opinions about issues before them.
It is important that kids understand that all decisions have consequences. It's okay to make a decision that you believe is the right one at the time; however, understanding the long-term effects of your actions helps young people avoid overloading themselves with responsibility. Kids should also know that they are not obligated to explain their decisions; however, being open about their reasons can help them deal with problems that might otherwise arise.
Finally, let kids know that they are not alone in making judgment calls. Everyone has to decide what role they want to play in life and how they want to conduct themselves. No one else can make these choices for them, but everyone has the ability to learn from others' mistakes and good examples.
Children desire to be like their parents and do the same things they do. Parents are also the most influential instructors for their children, who learn the most from them. Children pick up on things that their parents try to teach them, such as counting numbers. Also, children often follow in their parent's footsteps by choosing a career path based on their own interests, but with an emphasis on earning money to provide for them and their family.
Children also learn good values from their parents. They see what types of people respect others and themselves and want to be like them. Parents should make sure that they are setting a good example by being honest with others and themselves. This will help their children feel comfortable being themselves too.
Finally, children learn how to deal with stress from their parents. Whether the parent is stressed out or not, but if they are able to maintain their calm demeanor, this will show their child that it is possible to handle difficult situations successfully.
All in all, children learn from their parents everything from morals to manners, so they must give them their full attention and love. This is why parents are the most important teachers in their children's lives.
We tell youngsters they can be whatever they choose for three reasons. The first, we believe and hope, will inspire them to become anything they choose. The second reason is that parents want to feel good about themselves, believing that they done their best to motivate their children. And the third reason is that we don't want them to feel limited in any way because of their family situation or financial circumstances.
I remember when my son was younger, I would tell him that he could be anything that he wanted to be. He'd look at me like I was crazy and say things like doctor or lawyer. I didn't tell him that he could be either one of those things, I told him that he could be anything that he wanted to be. If he wanted to be a doctor, then he could be a doctor. If he wanted to be a lawyer, then he could be one too. There are lots of other choices out there for him to be interested in so it doesn't matter what he chooses to be as long as it isn't something illegal or dangerous.
As he got older, he did end up choosing what kind of doctor he wanted to be. A pediatrician. He also chose to go to medical school instead of college. During his residency, he decided to specialize in otolaryngology--head and neck surgery. So now he's a surgeon who works on the ears, nose, and throat (ENT) disorders of children.
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