Here are 33 things you should quit doing right now. Although it is typical for parents to be critical of themselves, this way of thinking is detrimental. Instead of beating yourself up, view little blunders as opportunities to grow and learn.
Stop spoiling them! Kids don't need extra attention or material possessions to be happy. They will only crave these things when they feel unloved or unappreciated by their parents. Don't give in to your child's demands just because they can be difficult to refuse.
Stop subjecting them to your own failures! Children need to see their parents succeed on a consistent basis before they can expect similar results themselves. Do not allow them to witness your struggles and failures alone. Share your successes with them so that they know you love them even when you cannot be with them.
Stop trying to control them through punishment! It does not work and it makes both you and your child miserable. If you want your child to obey you, show him or her respect by acknowledging his or her feelings first and then think about changing your behavior accordingly. Avoid using force as a means of disciplining your child. This will only cause him or her to hate you.
Stop trying to protect them from pain! Children have an ability to understand situations and people much better than we realize.
TEN THINGS THAT PARENTS SHOULD NEVER DO
Guilt is something that all parents of grown children must let go of. Don't make your adult children or yourself feel guilty. Why? Becki Cohn-Vargas writes in her article "Letting Go and the Art of Parenting Adult Children":
Adult children staying at home and reliant on their parents has become a national issue. Indeed, an increasing number of children are remaining at home with their parents far into their twenties and beyond.
Examine yourself and how you engage with your child. Try to discover methods to interact in a constructive way. Here are four things you can do right now to restore peace and sanity to your family while your adult kid is living with you. These actions will also assist your youngsters in launching and thriving. 1.
These old tendencies will also undermine your efforts to have a good and healthy connection while kids are at home. Two of the most prevalent patterns that parents and children fall back into are the over-functioning parent and the under-functioning youngster. This occurs when you do too much for your children, causing them to do too little.
Guilt is something that all parents of grown children must let go of. Make neither your adult children nor yourself feel guilty.
Here are 5 suggestions about how to be less reactive in life and as a parent:
Be truthful and open about what went wrong and how you intend to better in the future.
However, if you believe it is time to assist your child in breaking a habit, follow these steps:
How to deal with problematic behavior
Allowing your adult kid to thrive on their own is one approach to avoid being an enabler as a parent. Inform them that they are capable of doing the task. You may guide them and teach them skills along the road, but ultimately they must fend for themselves. This way you're not going against nature by keeping them young forever.
There are two types of adults: those who grow up and those who don't. Those who grow up realize that they need to start taking care of themselves before they can take care of others. They might not like this idea at first, but once it's put into words everything becomes clear. The ones who don't grow up often find themselves in trouble or needing help with things they thought were impossible tasks. Sometimes all it takes is someone to show them how possible it is for them to succeed.
If you want to stop enabling your grown children, you have to understand why you do it and how it affects them. It's not because you don't love them, it's because you want the best for them. You know that if they stay here dependent on you that it will be hard for them to become independent people. Help them see that they can do it by showing them that you believe in them and supporting them along the way.
Stop enabling your grown children.