When a youngster has a challenging temperament or a full-blown oppositional defiant disorder, parents frequently go to the worst-case scenario, picturing all sorts of bleak predictions for their child's future. This is simple to accomplish when your child is rarely joyful, frequently irritated, and exhibits uncontrollable behavior. Such children are at risk for developing anxiety disorders, depression, eating problems, and addiction behaviors as they grow up.
It is important to remember that difficulties in regulating emotions are normal during childhood and adolescence. Parents of emotionally disturbed children need help too; therefore, it is essential that professionals who work with these families be trained in identifying signs of emotional disturbance in kids.
Kids with challenging temperaments find it hard to cope with change and may appear uncooperative or disobedient. They may also show an unusually high level of activity for their age, use foul language, refuse to wear clothes, and act aggressively toward others. Although most children will experience some form of rejection at one time or another, those who have a difficult temperament are likely to feel this pain more deeply. They may even believe the attacks on their character are happening because of their parent(s) or other caregiver. This can lead to repeated negative experiences that increase their distress and interfere with their ability to learn.
If you think your child has a difficult temperament, talk to his doctor to see if there is a medical reason for his/her behavior.
A difficult temperament is distinguished by inconsistent body functioning, retreat from novel settings, delayed adaption, a negative mood, and powerful emotions. Raising young children is a challenging task from the start. Difficult children are those who make it more difficult for their parents to meet their needs.
Difficult children exhibit a number of characteristics that place them at risk for developing behavioral problems. These characteristics include:
- Low frustration tolerance. Children with low frustration tolerance cannot control themselves when they feel angry or hurt. This makes it hard for them to resolve their feelings in a healthy way.
- High sensitivity. They are very responsive to changes in their environment. For example, if you scold them for a mistake they made, they will feel bad about themselves for quite some time. This can have an impact on their behavior toward you.
- Unreliable response. They do not always respond to situations in a predictable manner. For example, they may act upset one moment and then happy the next without any change in circumstance.
- Poor coping skills. They don't know how to deal with stressful situations effectively. This can lead to emotional outbursts.
- Difficulty forming relationships. Young children need role models to look up to. They also need positive attention from their parents.
When your child grows up in a hostile environment with frequent furious outbursts, he develops complicated qualities. It complicates and jeopardizes his future. Children are excellent imitators, and they will eagerly copy your actions without regard for the consequences. This makes them vulnerable to be manipulated by someone who knows how to take advantage of their nature.
The most important thing for a parent to understand is that when you punish your child in anger, you are sending him a clear message that such behavior will not be tolerated. He learns either from your example or your absence that it is not safe to provoke you. Therefore, even if you think that your anger will not be noticed, it will be. Your child needs to know that there are certain behaviors that will not be tolerated under any circumstances.
He will also learn that it is not safe to confront you when you are angry. If you can control yourself enough to refrain from hitting him when you are upset, then he will learn that it is best to avoid making you angrier by arguing back.
Finally, he will learn that it is okay to leave you when you are angry. If you want him to stay away from you, then you should not threaten him or act aggressively when you are mad.
Children need to know that it is normal to feel afraid when their parent gets angry.
Children that are classified as "easy" have a cheerful attitude, are fast to fall into routines, and are quick to adjust to new conditions. Difficult: children in the "difficult" group cry more frequently, have a harder difficulty adapting to new surroundings, and do not follow routines on a regular basis.
Thomas and Chess believed that it was important for parents to know their child's temperament so they could provide them with the right kind of environment to grow up in. Their idea was based on the fact that children who were given opportunities to express themselves, learn new things, and make friends would be more likely to have a happy life.
Easy children are described by Thomas and Chess as follows:
They are lively, active children who love to play. They are willing to try new things and have a lot of energy. Because they tend to be happier than difficult children, easy children are called "cheerful."
Difficult children are known to be stubborn, don't like to share their toys, and don't like to be told what to do. Easy children get along with others better than difficult children, because they aren't afraid to speak up if they need something done for them. Difficult children, on the other hand, will always want to take care of others first before they think about themselves.
Most of us recognize that our children have different personalities from birth, and experts agree: "Some characteristics of a child's temperament are practically hardwired," says Jonathan Pochyly, PhD, pediatric psychologist at Chicago's Children's Memorial Hospital. Many people are inclined to being shy, for example. Others are more social by nature. Still others like to work on puzzles or play with toys until they break.
Toddlers' behaviors can also be influenced by their environment. A young child who is not getting enough sleep or too much stress in his life may develop a negative personality trait such as anger or anxiety. A child who experiences positive events such as getting a new toy or having her picture taken might develop a positive personality trait like enthusiasm or optimism.
Your toddler's behavior isn't just based on current circumstances; it's also due to past events. For example, if a child has been hurt or disappointed previously, he might show caution toward new things. This is called "temperament." Some kids are born cautious, while others are not!
Toddler personalities can also change over time. For example, if your little one is shy but she interacts well with you and other adults, then she probably won't become more outgoing as she gets older. Personality traits are fixed at age three, although some behaviors associated with certain traits may vary depending on what situation your toddler is in.
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