Scapegoating can occur as a result of a fully narcissistic parent selecting a "favorite child" who operates as an extension of the parent and internalizes his or her life perspective and may be easily managed, then selecting a scapegoat child. The favorite child is given special treatment by the parent, while the scapegoat child is not.
The term "scapegoat" comes from religious practices in which sins are placed on an animal and then burned or buried. The idea behind this practice is that by taking the sin away from the actual person guilty of the sin, they can avoid punishment for their actions. Today, the word "scapegoat" is used to describe someone who takes responsibility for something that other people think is wrong but about which they feel completely innocent.
Family scapegoating can occur when one or more children are given preferential treatment by their parents. This child might get better food, more attention, and so on. The parent will usually have a good reason for giving this child special treatment - maybe he or she is younger than the others, maybe he or she has a medical condition, or maybe he or she just seems easier to deal with. However, regardless of the reason, this child will eventually start feeling like the problem rests on him or her alone.
Scapegoating is a prevalent type of verbal abuse by parents. Scapegoating allows a parent to deflect blame for and explain undesirable events, increasing control. The scapegoat position might be rotated, or it can be assigned to a single child. Parents may use different forms of scapegoating to manipulate their children into behaving in certain ways.
Children who are the targets of scapegoating suffer emotional damage because it is very difficult to cope with negative emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness when you are the victim of this kind of behavior. Scapegoating also teaches children that someone else is responsible for their feelings, which can lead them to try and control others through guilt trips or bullying.
Parents need to understand that if they want to be successful at controlling their children then they have to first control themselves. This means that they must learn how to resist abusing their power by blaming their children for the mistakes they make or the things that go wrong in their lives. If parents could only see how their actions affect their children they would never do such things again.
If your parent is narcissistic, you will not comprehend as a youngster that you are being used as a scapegoat. You may feel unloved or unnourished, but you will blame yourself, not them. It also renders one vulnerable to being used as a scapegoat. If someone is willing to hurt you or leave you alone, they will take advantage of that fact.
Narcissistic parents find it difficult to let go of their needs. In order to feel good about themselves, they must have others depend on them. Therefore, they look outside themselves for fulfillment. Since they cannot find it within, they turn to their children as sources of love and approval.
In other words, a narcisstic parent is always looking outside themselves for love and acceptance, so they try to give it to their children instead. Even though this does not make sense from a logical point of view, since children can't fulfill their needs by themselves, it makes sense emotionally for the parent to believe that giving them love will lead them to love them back.
Children of narcissists grow up with an understanding of love and acceptance, but no concept of self-worth. They learn that they should look outside themselves for these things, which leads many young people into addictive behaviors such as drugs and alcohol if they are not given enough attention from their parents.
Copyright © 2020 - 2023 Anything For Family Inc.
